Phase Gone By

It should be a heroic feeling after winning the battle that went on for so long. There were times when physical and mental, both form of strengths had just drained like the drop of water vanishes in the desert at above 50 degree Celsius. In situations like these, the toughest part is to keep your faith intact; in yourself and in God. The silence after the battle-end seems like a camouflage but one gets use to it after a long time. No wonder she found it unacceptable that she conquered what she dreaded the most. It is only at times when you don’t have any other option except being strong, that u realize how strong you actually are. In a moment she drowned into the flashback of her journey so far and thoughts perturbed her. Some were for good and others for bad. She realized how and when she acted courageously or foolishly. But all that did not matter now. What now mattered the most was that she was not just a survivor but a furious warrior. Her strength multiplied as she held her head up. There was a strange calmness in her mind, heart and soul. She was feeling an uneasy ease in her self. What was it all for. What was the purpose behind it all. Thoughts such as these still perplexed her. On the ground at her knees, she missed to notice the surrounding. There were people watching her battling with herself after conquering the one outside her. She missed to see who was feeling good for her and who just mourned her victory but could not dare to express it. She forgot to see what harm has happened to the living and non living around her. And no wonder she could not analyze if this battle harmed her in some way or gave her something more than what she could think of. Though that innocence and spontaneity was gone but there was a new flow of strength, maturity and stability.

Unknowingly, she stood up to see around her. Coming back to reality, she looked for faces which she was familiar with. She stood there trying to read them. she was astonished by the hand that gently touched her shoulder. Those eyes she had turned to could read what had changed within her. Those eyes could see what she went through. Those eyes were filled with happiness and praise unlike her own teary ones. She looked for acceptance as she was unsure of herself. Yes, she saw exactly what she wanted. She rejoiced forgetting her messed up feelings, the scars on her body and dull patches of her face. She did not even notice her disheveled attire nor her bleeding feet as she stood barefooted on that heated sand. No pain could have make her weep or feel weak now. Those eyes were of non-other than her mentor under whose guidance she has been living forever. He once told her- nothing is too difficult for you. She did not get it then and thought of numerous things that she knew were impossible for her. She had smiled then thinking he is a kind saint. But today she could understand what he meant. She kept looking at him and he patted her shoulder twice gesturing her to move ahead. She then noticed the people she loved most, who were her world. And happiness began.