Because you are gone

Caught in her own gaze in the mirror, she was rushing with the hairbrush over her hair. It was one of those days when she was just in time again. She loved the idea of living, living with calm that she has learnt to maintain in her being. Calm that sometimes reminded her of how she earned it, or did she have a choice. Driving her car past through the broad much-empty road, she thought to herself that it was today that he had left her. Exactly two years ago, her life once again took a turn which she never anticipated. She never thought of life without him. He was the centre of her existence even though it had always been a complex relationship. They loved each other and always wanted each other to be happy. But it is not always you value the person till you have him in your life. It was after that he was gone, she told herself:

Because you are gone, I am learning how to be myself.
Because you are gone, I am trying to smile again.
The options still confuse me, but I make a choice anyway.
Amidst the crowd I still feel afraid, but I walk pass through it everyday.

Because you are gone, I have learnt how to do things alone.
Beacuse you are gone, I dont look again and again at my phone.
Endlessness of chores still bore me, but I do things anyway.
Your silence still haunts me, but I accept it anyway.

Because you are gone, I meet new people almost everyday.
Because you are gone, I let them talk and listen to what they say.
In their faces, I still try to find your expressions.
There is so much to say but I know no one would be intriguied by my endless narrations.

Because you are gone, I get back to art and music,
Because you are gone, Alone I try to figure out all the logic.
Because you are gone, they say I have changed,
Because you are gone, I keep forgetting who I am.